The Dad Dating Commandments

The phone vibrates on the glass nightstand. With hesitation, you grab the white iPhone and slide your thumb across the screen.

“I’m here,” the text reads.

Making your way to the door, you stop at the mirror and smooth your hair. The soft knock makes your heart jolt.

Today is the day. It’s finally here and you’re freaking out.

“Hey,” he says as you open the door.

“Hi,” you respond as he brings you in for a hug.

Squeezing his hand, you lead him towards the family room. The both of you walk close together.

The nerves are killing you.

Your mom, wearing a coral colored dress, greets the both of you with a warm hug. She knew the two of you were together, Mom always knows everything.

Entering the kitchen, you spot your dad on his favorite seat in the house, a brown leather recliner, watching ESPN.

He glances over at the two of you and has an unreadable expression. You freeze and forget the introduction speech you had rehearsed while getting ready.

With a deep breath you say, “Dad, this is *insert name of the person you’re dating*.”

Welcome to one of the most difficult days in any girls life: introducing your new guy to daddy. In all the things you’ll do in life whether it be climb Mount Everest, jump out 40,000 feet off a plane or say a speech in front of the president of the United States, this will by far be the scariest day of your life.

Dad’s standards are near impossible to reach. Whether you’re 5 or 25 years old, no one will ever be good enough for their little girl.

So what does a dad look for in their daughter’s significant others? Here are a couple of Dad’s and their dating commandments.

dad #1

1. No earrings, tattoos or long hair.

“No Zayn Malik, no hizzy ma dizzie ( Lil Wayne).”

tumblr_mlle3afbkt1rs8g6oo1_500

but how can you say no to a face like this?

2. No ghetto talk or slang.

“What the hizzy ma peeps.”

3. Be at least 22-years-old.

“That means done with college.”

4. No grills, no gold in the mouth.

5. Must have clear goals.

  smacks hand on table, “And none of this crap ‘I’m going to sell balloons in the corner.'”

 giphy1


dad #2

1. No tattoos.

2. Don’t be late to pick her up.

3. Have some respect for me, my daughter and her mother.

4. Don’t be late when coming back home.

5. Tell me EXACTLY where you are going.

“Believe me, I know.”

tumblr_m7gj9qivt51rxdvy7o1_500

dad #3

1. Get a job.

2. Understand I don’t like you.

3. I am everywhere.

4. You hurt her, I hurt you. I own a gun.

5. Don’t lie to me.

“If you do, I will hunt you down like my name is Liam Nesson.”

giphy2

 dad #4

1. Thou shall understand that your presence doesn’t make me happy.

2. Thou shall not touch my daughter. She WILL tell me!

3. Thou shall remember that my daughter is a princess and you are an a**.

4. Thou shall understand that if I don’t like you, you don’t have a chance.

5. Thou shall understand that I am an old school conservative republican who watches Fox news, supports the NRA and capital punishment.

giphy3

After all these rules, at the end of the day, it’s all out of love. Good luck to all the beautiful ladies out there. Have a wonderful day and enjoy this Valentine’s Day weekend with your loved ones. God bless!

x,

Screen Shot 2015-02-10 at 10.19.53 PM

{ We love because HE loved us first. }

1 John 4:19

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s